compulsive behaviour

[Hesuk]

Hi to everyone on the forum,
Is it possible that a subtle change in awareness over my compulsive behaviour could eventually lead to the changes I would like to occur? Just recently I've become aware that before automatically reaching out to indulge the compulsion, I am fully aware that I have a choice about it. This is a totally new awareness for me, but it is so subtle. I have still chosen to go ahead with the compulsive behaviour, but I didn't get angry or hate myself for doing it. That also is a difference. Is it possible this shift might eventually lead me to choosing the other option, and not indulging the compulsion? At the present time I feel certain of it and then I think I am deluding myself. I believe it but then I question the idea. I trust myself and then I doubt it. I have had this compulsion for almost 20 years, I find it difficult to believe such a subtle shift could possibly bring about the changes I would like. However, the compulsion doesn't seem to be driven by my emotions any longer. I have cleared a lot of stuff out using the guided cds and the lower chakras seem to be flowing freely. I have also felt energy for the first time in the 3rd eye, the base of the skull and the throat chakras, flowing between them and the lower centres. I also see the colour yellow-green behind the eyes, moving downwards in a horizontal line. Not sure if that is relevant to any of this though.  Many thanks for taking the time to read this. H

[John Ruskan]

Normally, our stance on compulsive behavior is that it is motivated by some negative feeling buried in the subconscious. We either try to avoid the feeling by indulging in the behavior, or we unconsciously believe that the acting-out will eliminate the feeling.

In EC work, we track back and process the feelings behind the behavior; then, the behavior theoretically will die off on its on since it will no longer be "needed." An important part of the process is witnessing, which seems like it might be what you are describing as your change in awareness. You also say you think you have cleared the emotions related to the compulsion, which is great!
As you keep witnessing the compulsive impulse, you keep moving in the direction of being free from it. Not criticizing yourself if you succumb to it, as you describe, but continuing to detach and witness it will eventually release it.

The energetic perceptions you describe are an excellent sign that you're moving forward.

[Hesuk]

Many thanks for your reply and kind words. I am also grateful for you starting me on this path with the EC book, the cds and Emotion and Art. I feel like I'm walking on shifting sands at the moment, and seeing things from a slightly different perspective than before. It's a great help to have your work as support along the way. Thank you.

[Hesuk]

Wow, wow, wow. It's early days but lucid dreams, increased energy, improved personal relationships, deeper connectedness to people and a new perspective on life has occurred. This is a whole new level.  I'm having to protect myself in crowded places because I get overwhelmed at the 'connectedness' to people and I'm avoiding people that can be a bit 'draining.' But it is a gift. And what a gift. And all I can say is WOW. And give due thanks.

[CarlStevenson]

Hi HE'S.UK, I read your last post and was interested to ask you, do you feel the 12 CD six week training was the key aid to this shift in perspective? Thanks. Karl

[Hesuk]

Hi Carl,

Apologies for such a long delay in answering your question. I am absolutely convinced the guided 6week CD has brought me where I am now. I have used the Cds on and off for a while, and they are always a 'go-to' when I become aware that I'm repressing stuff. I think a lot of what has happened to me recently has been to do with the 3rd eye. I believe the emotional clearing process and binaural beats on the Cd started, guided and brought about that event. On a very basic level the Cds are comforting, relaxing, helpful and supportive. They don't push you - they 'guide' you, gently. On a more in-depth level, they can help you to bring out profound change. I don't think anyone would regret using the Cds, I certainly don't.

[CarlStevenson]

Thanks for your reply. I will give them a try and see what happens.

Carl