Do things turn pear shaped during healing??

[shrah25]

Hi John

I firstly wanted to say how grateful I am to have come across your book about 6 years ago.  The approach was exactly what I needed as I had been conditioned for so many years to try and fix my situation mentally but for me, it just never worked.  I could never understand how my peers would just shift their thoughts and it create dramatic shifts for them but doing the same thing for me had little to no effect.  Hence, i've realised that for me, the emotional and spiritual work is crucial to my healing.  

Anyway, in the middle of 2015, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.  I was anxious about my work, tense all the time, fearful and so on but this time, it all just felt a little different.  After speaking with my wife and my spiritual teacher, I recognised that this was the signal I needed to put an end to my IT career and focus on my passion which is coaching others.  So fast forward 6 months, I quit my job, moved back home whilst my wife is studying to be an orthodontist in another part of NZ.

I'm almost 2 years into the journey and its been one hell of a rollercoaster.  Essentially i've niched down to being a relationship coach and my intuition has guided me to focus on things online as opposed to getting clients in a more traditional sense.  I have big dreams.  I want to help people all over the world, run workshops, seminars etc and also have a passion for helping women in India who are victims of sex slavery.  I'm extremely good at what I do but here's my challenge...

I've been blessed with talent in so many areas of my life yet I always tend to fall short of my potential.  Now my fear is that I am goign to manifest this is my coaching practice and that scares the bejeezes out of me.  You see - it always feels like when I get extremely close to things taking off, suddenly something happens out of nowhere and it gets taken away.  By all accounts, i'm doing all the right things in my coaching business and the feedback I'm getting has been incredible but i'm not manifesting things in the way that I would like.  I've been working hard on surrendering and trusting that it will work out in divine timing but there are some fundamentals that I need to deal with  ie I have enough money saved up for probably about another year (if i get no income at all) but that's not really good enough for me as I want to establish things in a solid manner so that when my wife finishes her post grad study at the end of next year, we have stability to start planning children and helping her build her practice.  In addition, I really want to make sure that I never step foot in another corporate job again (no offence to anyone working there!).  

Things have particularly gotten a little scary for me in the last month.  June/July and Aug were my best coaching months since I started...and then I started to really focus on some emotionally healing and within a space of 3 weeks, literally all of my clients have left.  Either because of money, one went into surgery, one needed to figure out things for herself and a couple of others vanished without any word (even though they both said they got more out of my coaching in 2 months than they had with a counsellor in 7 years!)...

So that's really jolted me and i'm having to work extra hard to ensure that I am living in faith and trust.  
In addition, all of my new prospects keep saying the same thing - I don't have the money or I need to think about it.  I'm working on some sales strategies (i've been using some so-called proven methods online) here but I also think that there is something to be said about me attracting these people and them reflecting back to me my own insecurities about money.  

I've just purchased your audio program so i'm looking forward to that but in the meantime, I have two questions:
1)  Is it normal for things to turn pear shaped when you begin some deep clearing work? ie all these clients leaving?  Are they opening the door potentially for other great things as a way of entering new beginnings?
2)  Do you think attracting these people with money issues is a reflection of my own insecurities about money?

My apologies for the long message!  

I would really appreciate your thoughts on all of this.

Thanks
Sri

[John Ruskan]

I would not say that it is normal for negative issues to particularly intensify when starting to do this work. It could/can happen, in which case you just keep on, but I don't think you have gone deeply enough into the work at this point to generate such backlash, and I can't say that I have seen it happen regularly with clients I have worked with. If and when the backlash does occur we attribute it to the inertia of the negative energies. Sometimes just because we are now paying attention to the negative subconscious it may seem as if there is more negativity. Can we attract people who mirror our issues? - sure. That just means we have not yet taken responsibility for outer circumstances and the core feelings behind them.

Although I understand and can identify with the impulse to try to figure out what's going on, you are asking heavy left-brain questions that can't really be satisfactorily answered. There is also the subtle motive to find who/what to blame for your experience. Try to keep shifting to the spiritual, right-brain orientation that is needed to succeed in this work, and recognize that the left-brain mind cannot provide meaningful resolution. Accept and witness whatever is going on in your inner psychic world. Trust that you are clearing centuries of negativity, and trust that your Higher Self is bringing you the exact experience you need - you'll come out on the other side.

[shrah25]

Thanks John - I appreciate you taking the time out to respond to my message. 

I think the trust part is absolutely crucial here for me.  Even when these clients are disappearing, it's trusting that the universe is bringing me exactly what I need for my spiritual growth and evolution and just surrendering to that. 

Regarding your point "It could/can happen, in which case you just keep on, but I don't think you have gone deeply enough into the work at this point to generate such backlash", What you're definition of not going deeply enough? 

Could clarify your point "Can we attract people who mirror our issues? - sure. That just means we have not yet taken responsibility for outer circumstances and the core feelings behind them."?  Are you saying that the reason mirroring is happening is because I haven't taken responsibility for the outer circumstances and the core feelings behind them?  I guess this question is my left-brain kicking in again!  :-) 

Acceptance is important for me and as I write this, I am noticing the patterns i'm falling into. 

Thanks Again
Sri