Muscles contract and breathing stops when approaching suppressed negative energy

[consciousness_itself]

Hello,
I have read Emotional Clearing by John Ruskan and I have been practicing between 2 to 3 hours per day for about 6 months now. It took me many months of practice before I could even find the suppressed negative feelings that are distributed throughout my body in what seems to be network of dense, interconnected, stagnant, painful energies. I can definitely see how this energy is running the show of my life, which is why I am profoundly grateful for having the opportunity to study and practice Ruskan's process.

However, despite making substantial progress and experiencing some energetic catharses, I sense that I am having trouble going deeper into feeling and therefore clearing the energy. Every time I approach a suppressed energy with my awareness, my muscles contract involuntarily. The more I try to feel it, the more intense the contraction becomes, until I find myself nearly shaking from the muscular tension. Sometimes, in the midst of this intense contraction, I do actually get a release, which is felt as a small energetic catharsis (usually in the form of energy moving into and up my spine). I have tried to approach the pain by consciously keeping my muscles relaxed, but it seems to be an involuntary response that is difficult to avoid.

Likewise, I find that my breathing stops entirely when I am approaching this negative energy. If I attempt to consciously resume breathing, my ability to focus into the suppressed energy diminishes, almost as if the breath is distracting me from going deeper. My impression is that the cessation of breathing is not having a negative impact on my ability to access, feel, and clear the energy. In fact, it feels like the stillness afforded by lack of breathing actually improves my ability to go deeper. But I recognize that this impression might be a misguided blind spot.

My questions are:
Is the muscle contraction and/or cessation of breathing a reflection of my unconscious resistance to the suppressed feeling?
Is there any merit in allowing myself to contract the musculature and/or temporarily pause breathing as I approach the suppressed feeling?
In sum: How crucial is it to keep the muscles relaxed and the breathing regular in the emotional clearing process?

Thank you so much for your time. I sincerely appreciate it.
With gratitude,
Ahmo

[John Ruskan]

Ahmo- You do seem to be highly motivated and have gone deeply into the work. I have not come across the involuntary muscle contraction response either in clients I have worked with or in myself in deep processing mode. My comments are therefore somewhat conjectural. I wouldn't say off hand that this can be attributed to unconscious resistance, but maybe the body is reacting and going into a defensive posture. You say that you can still access feelings to at least a certain extent, and maybe this is the best that can be done. If you are not directly working on a body level with meditative yoga, as I describe on the emclear site, I would definitely add that to your regular practice and see if it helps. Energy shooting up the spine is a good sign, suggesting that lower chakra energy is being transmuted upwards. All said, however, I would tend to regard the muscle contraction as the wisdom of the body speaking, and if it does seem to interfere with accessing deeper feelings, to honor it and allow it to be as it is. Non-resistance to perceived resistance is the strategy. If you are indeed practicing as much as you say, there is a possibility that you are pushing too hard.

Regarding the breath, yes, the breath slowing down is definitely a sign of and benefits moving into the moment and contacting the deep subconscious. It's nothing to be alarmed about. Needing to take a breath at some point may very well lift you out of the feeling for a moment, but that can't be avoided. Maintaining a very slow breath instead of stopping the breath altogether may be the best alternative.

Keep up the good work.

[consciousness_itself]

[quote author=John Ruskan link=topic=708.msg1215#msg1215 date=1604949448]
Ahmo- You do seem to be highly motivated and have gone deeply into the work. I have not come across the involuntary muscle contraction response either in clients I have worked with or in myself in deep processing mode. My comments are therefore somewhat conjectural. I wouldn't say off hand that this can be attributed to unconscious resistance, but maybe the body is reacting and going into a defensive posture. You say that you can still access feelings to at least a certain extent, and maybe this is the best that can be done. If you are not directly working on a body level with meditative yoga, as I describe on the emclear site, I would definitely add that to your regular practice and see if it helps. Energy shooting up the spine is a good sign, suggesting that lower chakra energy is being transmuted upwards. All said, however, I would tend to regard the muscle contraction as the wisdom of the body speaking, and if it does seem to interfere with accessing deeper feelings, to honor it and allow it to be as it is. Non-resistance to perceived resistance is the strategy. If you are indeed practicing as much as you say, there is a possibility that you are pushing too hard.

Regarding the breath, yes, the breath slowing down is definitely a sign of and benefits moving into the moment and contacting the deep subconscious. It's nothing to be alarmed about. Needing to take a breath at some point may very well lift you out of the feeling for a moment, but that can't be avoided. Maintaining a very slow breath instead of stopping the breath altogether may be the best alternative.

Keep up the good work.

[/quote]

Thank you very much, John. Those are useful insights. It's good to know I'm on the right track despite this anomaly.

Sincerely,
Ahmo