Author Topic: followup on Mr-Patrick's posts  (Read 6155 times)

jocelyn

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followup on Mr-Patrick's posts
« on: August 09, 2023 »
Hello,

My childhood was, it seems, similar to Mr-Patrick's, as nearly as I can tell. EC has allowed me to "stabilize" [for the better, not the worse] the "relationship" I've had with one certain essential(?!?) individual human being who is a narcissistic bully. I, however, have yet to feel, accept, and integrate the entire extent of the feelings I've felt over a lifetime resulting from my "upbringing."

What I'd like to know, is, if I succeed in processing the rest of the negative parts of my childhood in its entirety, will I automatically and intuitively know exactly how to create a fully win-win "partnership" with the bully that's still in my life and who's not likely to leave "the scene" anytime soon?

In other words, I realize that processing one's emotions can greatly alter relationships for the better, but after a lifetime of living with few boundaries, will the person now freed from the tyranny of the narcissistic bully automatically become an expert on how to build a win-win relationship with a dyed-in-the-wool bully?

Dr. Albert Bernstein has written a perceptive handbook called "Emotional Vampires" (with a subtitle momentarily forgotten; it's about dealing with people who drain others emotionally dry.) His opinion is that narcissistic bullies cannot be cured. Their victims must break off contact as much as possible, and even end the relationship.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2023 by jocelyn »

John Ruskan

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Re: followup on Mr-Patrick's posts
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2023 »
In theory, we attract people who correspond to our emotional holdings, or with whom we have karmic relationships. As we release those suppressed feelings, we assume the relationship is likely to spontaneously change so that it no longer is experienced as being so oppressive. However, real life situations call for an enlightened judgment about whether to continue or break off or maintain protective boundaries after you may feel you have released much of your personal negativity. I think it can be assumed that you gain a clarity about how to proceed as you work on yourself, no one can advise you about this.

jocelyn

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Re: followup on Mr-Patrick's posts
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2023 »
I appreciate your response.

Interestingly, right after I left posting at the library, that same basic answer to my post came to me.

Must have been having a "senior moment."

Jocelyn