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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: Trouble experiencing emotions
« on: March 21, 2011 »
Hi Chase,
Thank you for your post. You got me thinking....
and wondering what your frustrating of desperately wanting to release your emotions that feel hardened and "stuck" to the point where you have been considering psychedelics feels like? If this is what you are feeling right now (or when you step into processing) I wonder if this in itself could be a really important beginning - utilizing your already here awareness and feeling of needing to do more, work deeper, or not doing this deeply enough etc.
Then, even as I write, interestingly, I start hesitating, thinking my offering might be too small or irrelevent, and I'm aware I often wonder if I am 'enough' so you have certainly held up an important mirror for me. Feels difficult to put into words, but I think I often think about whether I am doing 'enough' in processing and then wonder if this is my own resistance sneaking up on me. So, now I am working to also be aware of and stay with what is right here now - which for me is also often a feeling of frustration coupled perhaps with a self sabotaging disbelief or wanting something bigger... (perhaps something more certain or dramatic, like faster results or a kind of certainty of completion) which can so easily pull me away from this process.
In addition, it would be easy to question if these here and now seemingly smaller processing steps are a distraction from the 'real, big stuff' of importance itself that I really should be working on, which could so easily justify my not doing the necessary work right here and now. So indecision and fear of commitment come up for me one way or another, as well as wanting only the big and 'important' stuff and not valuing or processing the smaller things which I attract along the way. I hope this makes sense (as I could of course, right now be avoiding my next big step, by focussing on the smaller one right in front of me - yikes!)...? I think what I'm realising is that everything we process is important - big or small, all part of the whole.
John's reply is so helpful, and full of wisdom, so I hope you don't mind me writing to share in response too, as I feel that even though we are different people, we seem (I think) to have a lot of similarities. For me, I think (believe) John's work is more than enough, and yoga and breath work really are key. Yet I also notice that sometimes part of me does not want to feel that this is enough - and my own doubts and fears and all the stuff I need to work on arrives right here in front of me (which then seems to show me exactly what to work on if I can take the steps to do it). Isn't it interesting how each apparent problem can hold a lamp to light up the next seemingly small step, even while I'm busy looking for a bigger one (and isn't it interesting that the moment I type that, I wonder if I've got it wrong and should just be seeking out my 'big stuff')?
Wishing you health and light whichever way(s) you work.
Thank you.
All Love Susan
Thank you for your post. You got me thinking....
and wondering what your frustrating of desperately wanting to release your emotions that feel hardened and "stuck" to the point where you have been considering psychedelics feels like? If this is what you are feeling right now (or when you step into processing) I wonder if this in itself could be a really important beginning - utilizing your already here awareness and feeling of needing to do more, work deeper, or not doing this deeply enough etc.
Then, even as I write, interestingly, I start hesitating, thinking my offering might be too small or irrelevent, and I'm aware I often wonder if I am 'enough' so you have certainly held up an important mirror for me. Feels difficult to put into words, but I think I often think about whether I am doing 'enough' in processing and then wonder if this is my own resistance sneaking up on me. So, now I am working to also be aware of and stay with what is right here now - which for me is also often a feeling of frustration coupled perhaps with a self sabotaging disbelief or wanting something bigger... (perhaps something more certain or dramatic, like faster results or a kind of certainty of completion) which can so easily pull me away from this process.
In addition, it would be easy to question if these here and now seemingly smaller processing steps are a distraction from the 'real, big stuff' of importance itself that I really should be working on, which could so easily justify my not doing the necessary work right here and now. So indecision and fear of commitment come up for me one way or another, as well as wanting only the big and 'important' stuff and not valuing or processing the smaller things which I attract along the way. I hope this makes sense (as I could of course, right now be avoiding my next big step, by focussing on the smaller one right in front of me - yikes!)...? I think what I'm realising is that everything we process is important - big or small, all part of the whole.
John's reply is so helpful, and full of wisdom, so I hope you don't mind me writing to share in response too, as I feel that even though we are different people, we seem (I think) to have a lot of similarities. For me, I think (believe) John's work is more than enough, and yoga and breath work really are key. Yet I also notice that sometimes part of me does not want to feel that this is enough - and my own doubts and fears and all the stuff I need to work on arrives right here in front of me (which then seems to show me exactly what to work on if I can take the steps to do it). Isn't it interesting how each apparent problem can hold a lamp to light up the next seemingly small step, even while I'm busy looking for a bigger one (and isn't it interesting that the moment I type that, I wonder if I've got it wrong and should just be seeking out my 'big stuff')?
Wishing you health and light whichever way(s) you work.
Thank you.
All Love Susan