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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: New in the forum

« on: July 25, 2019 »

[quote author=John Ruskan link=topic=677.msg1137#msg1137 date=1564068418]
There is a lot of negativity in the world, and it can stimulate the negativity we hold within, contributing to the chaos we experience. You are going through tough times. Let's assume this is a period of intense cleansing, perhaps a lifetime when you have chosen to work on yourself.  Such deep work can lead to a period of disorientation, as you are describing, when feelings that have been buried for lifetimes are coming up to be cleared. You do seem to be knowledgeable about psychology, but don't hesitate to seek out individual help. You may need more than just the AA meetings. Take it slow. The EC processing principles still work with extreme difficulties, you just have to remember to carefully apply them, especially the witnessing step. Keep going to the feelings behind the chaos. I would also advise you to emphasize working with the EC Induction everyday, to strengthen your aura and to ground you - you need psychic protection and basic stability before working with serious emotional states. Work with the light and the earth, as described in the EC book. Thanks for sharing. Maybe some other people will have helpful feedback.
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Thanks John. Good to know you are there and you invest time in reading and commenting with your experience. I understand there is something open that makes it easier to project and loose objectivity.It gives me assurance to know you share with me the attitude of seeing this as a period of intense cleansing.I feel specially ashamed and feel weak to have jealousy feelings. There must be ego in it. I'll have present your advice of seeking individual help. I feel I have runned out of relationships that I can trust and not feel judged about my feelings. This Forum is nice place to share sincerely and directly.I totally agree that it is important to be in the witness. Eckhart Tolles meditations have been helpfull with it, observing, beeing in the body, surrendering. Today I thought my ego has been under stress...it even makes me laugh.It must be hard for it and maybe it's that that has a fear of dying also. I will research for the EC Induction in your website and in your book. I bought a spanish version 8 years ago and I found an electronic version of the revised version. As a person that has had the advantage of reading a lot, and rationalizing, and thinking, you presented a whole new world 8 years ago when I read your book, and I feel I am experiencing that world at an emotional level. The negative first, but I have faith it is just a stage previous to liberation. I had not had nightmares since 8 years ago, and when I started breathing again, I had that old nightmare of a sort of entity coming to visit and feed from my energy. I consulted with my friend who is a certified rebirthing facilitator and he said it was normal that those entities feel threatened. I understand it's the pain body, and a reaction of the pain body to higher levels of prana and consciousness. Eckhart Tolles pain body concept is very simple and usefull, how he describes it feeding from thoughts and situations and of others reactions. I like it's simple way. I have been in fourth way schools and read Ouspenski and Gurdjieff which explains in an esoteric way, what Tolle is explaining in simple ways. I like the idea and the vision of seeing myself as consciousness that can observe alchemy going on in this space, of the transmutation of this negative feelings and thoughts into consciousness. Of this pain and emotions beeing the fuel to the light of consciousness.Thanks for your work John, I feel it has been a door to enter another reality.

2

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / New in the forum

« on: July 24, 2019 »

Hi, thanks to John for his book. I got it 8 years ago when I was in crisis. It helped a lot to understand duality and to accept the dark. My Jungian readings about integrating shadow and anima also helped. I understood I was not so human as I thought. I was also very moralist. I expected from Woman, things I could not give. I think I desired other woman and projected it into woman. I got married afterwards. I had around 19 years of beeing in 12 step groups and stoped going to regular meetings. One year ago I left the company I was a manager and shareholder. I decided to fast and go into meditation as I knew things could get tough and the answers would be inside. On December I could not pay the apartment anymore and my wife abruptly moved to her mothers house. I did have a client who payed me some money. The emotional ups and down started and I became insecure, and started having jealousy attacks. It was a tough and sad Christmas separated from her and my 8 and 5 year daughters. I started meditating Eckhart Tolles Videos. I started to breath at the beggining of the year and started to make short catharsis in the form of crying. I started a new project at a lake and started to go 3 days to the lake house to breath on the chakras, doing Yoga positions. The emotional catharsis got more intense and I could even cry simple breathing lightly while driving my car. Jealousy started incrementing. I managed to talk about it with my wife and she did not take it how I expected. I then moved in with her to her mothers house, and slowed down breathing exercises. She left with one of her clients to a business trip to another country and I suffered major emotional crisis, crying and feeling jealous and betrayed. I managed to keep quite quiet about  it. A couple of days after she returned, I got facial paralysis. I thought I had been to intense in my breathing so I consulted wth a friend who is a rebirthing therapist and he said I should keep breathing and he gave me 10 free rebirthing session during my facial paralysis. I did some acupuncture, neurologist gave me some quemicals (not downers nor mood changing drugs). My paralysis was at the end of May. I am almost 100% recovered. I have not been able to produce one dollar even thou I have worked for some hours. I am confronting all my issues about money and feeling poor, and not been able to give to my wife. Not beeing man enough. I have started breathing again and have noticed my big fear of divorce and of beeing cheated and life ending, and I even fear my destructive instincts of when I was an addict. I feel the pain of the idea of divorce is like dying. It ignited the fear of dying. I feel that in my second Chakra, I am still moralist and feel afraid of my sexual instincts and of creating a new business. Maybe I am confronting my pain and frustration of all the projects I have started and failed in. In my solar Chakra I have managed to accept the impotence of not beeing able to know the truth of what my wife does and if she is cheating on me, and I feel the impotence of not being able to control her and make her be as I want her to be. I have also connected with the feeling of separation in my heart chakra, and of not being understood, and not being able to reach her. Today I breathed on the Chakras. Afterwards I cried and cried and talked with my grandmother who is dead and said I needed her, her unconditional love. I feel that I can't distinguish what is real or not real of jealousy, and I have a hint this is what Jung would call integrating negative anima. Sometimes I feel that I am going through a great process, but sometimes I feel I getting lost and not beeing able to function in the practical things of life. Anyways, I just wanted to reach out, as I feel lonely, without support. I am going to my AA meeting at this moment. I recently started going again. I feel some shame of sharing this with all of you, but this is me. I can also say, I feel I am awakening in the form Eckhart Tolle mentions, I know I have to desidentify myself from my feeling and thoughts, and know I am not them. I am the consciousness where they occur. I read you later.