Messages

1

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Connection

« on: March 06, 2022 »

Dear John,

I read your last book, it's great. I started with a more intense meditation practice with the light and Earth energy from EC. For the last three years I have been constantly focused on the observer. When I do not meditate during the day I am constantly present in the body.
A lot has happened in my experience over the last two years.Everything I believed in was collapsed. Starting with my job, relationships, money. There was so much fears, pain, guilt, shame.

What i realize after everything that in one moment my consciousness is open and i'am free from suffering, there is only present moment.

Sometimes that openness is so great that I do not feel myself, i feel only connection with everything. I cant describe that. That opening happens and when I work with people in my workshops (consciouss relationships, parenting, communication...).

What distracts me from the present moment is a black very heavy cloud that I would visually describe as something descending on me and my consciousness returning to a traumatized state. I cant breath from that heavines, somethimes is very hard to be present with that.
It happens when I am with my child as if he is awakening the old trauma in me. Тhe situation in this relationship where I am a single mother looks like my childhood and awakens the same emotional atmosphere.
He tells me that he feels lonely (need connection) and to sit with him, but it is very difficult for me to connect with him in that moments, because and i feel ashame of that to be in connection with other.I am aware that is some part of me who leaves in separation and that is some trauma, fear of realtionship. I' am now aware, that was suptile follow me all my life.

What I feel physically is pressure on the left side of the body, mostly in the lower abdomen and left hip (feminine side) and heals me down in suffering and pain.It also changes my perception of becoming the person I used to be tied to the past, I feel angry to men, unworthy, dont seen etc..Same emotional patterns and thoughts. Like body pattern to feel in that way.At some point I will realize that I am not that and the heavines seems to leave me, the energy in my body moves again and i'am ok to be present with my child and people, but i feel like need to close again.This happening with my close people, especialy men.


Can you tell me something about open and close inner dinamic? Is that separate self?

In which energetic centar is feeling of trust, intimacy and connection? Is second center?

How can I find out where the energy centers are on the body described in your new book?

Thank you so much

2

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: Addictive relationship and abandonment

« on: December 20, 2021 »

Thank you so much.

I will change name of the topic, because i start with one idea , but when i start to writing something diferent was come to my mind.

Yes, core feelings is abandonment, especialy from men.In this case is my son.Unconsciously i see him like just one man who can leave me and i will exerience abandonment again.  I see that so clearly now.

I want to tell you just one more thing...In a very strange way I came to your teaching. I had your book maybe 7 years but i put it at the bottom of the closet. I never read it. Above the book was a lot of documents and other books. A month ago automatically without knowing what I'm looking for, I opened the closet and put my hand under all those papers and pulled out your book. At that moment I sat down to read and realized that was what I needed.
Everything we need is always here.

I'am wokring in the field of personal development and i will come soon to your profesional training.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

3

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Addictive relationship and abandonment

« on: December 19, 2021 »

Dear John,

Thank you for your expresion in this world.Your work is very practical and deep.
I'am sorry for my english grammar.I have question about pain and openess.

I find that i am very addictive to my 11 years son.I am single mother. Your work help me to see some dinamics in our relationship, especially with his father.His bad relationship with his father and my worry about it is procejtion of my fear of abandonment or loneliness.
When i was 14 years my mother was die and i worked on that trauma very long time.There is pain, fear of abandonment and loneliness.
Every time when i work on integration my son is sick, he got temperature, diarea or something is happening in school.I see in this that in same time emotional clearing is happening in both of us. I see that he is my other guru, who show me from what i want to escape. It's very hard to me, especialy when i started to see my inner proceses.

What i see in myself is that fear of abandonment who repeated in my realtionship starts from my birth. My father never come to see me and that dinamics is happening with my son and my ex husband.In this case with my son is not so same, but feeling of abandonment is here and i feel so much pain. I was feel anger, rage, shame, but with your teaching i see that emotions like secondary. I feel deep in my emotional body so much fear about him, but i know that is my projection.

In other side from this pain i find repressed creativity in me. I start to painting like profesional artist, before i never do that. But when i open myself to that intensive energy, who is intensive love,  next day i feel fear and need to control reality, especialy  my son. I dont do that, but i see that needs, fears and posessions.

*In all this process i feel left side of my body is so active in feeling, somethimes is overstimulated when i go through process of emotions. Is that right brain?

My questions is:

Can you tell me about this corelation of pain and openness?

If parents work on emotions from family karmic dinamics , can help to free childrens?

Can you give me advice about core feelings? Where can i give attention on fear or loneliness?

Thank you so much