Topics

1

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Perception Shift and Confusion

« on: November 17, 2022 »

Hello again John.

I have a question about interpretation/ a shift in perception as a technique to use alongside processing emotions. For example, in Deep clearing {which, by the way, I wrote a review for on Amazon only for them to tell me that I had not spent enough money on my amazon account to write a review! So I will keep it saved and post it once I've spent enough}, you spoke about 'reframing your experience'- making a conscious decision to perceive a negative event/emotion as an opportunity to clear suppressed contents as opposed to seeing it as a burden. This was a really interesting part of the book and made me think about this topic in more detail. You also talk about how shame & guilt are unnecessary because they can be resolved with a reframed perception of why it is you feel shameful (bringing your understanding to a spiritual level and seeing the bigger picture). Both of these are examples of the importance of reframing your mindset instead of ONLY processing emotions with no mental involvement.

I was meditating on 'regret' and other emotions relating to feeling as if I had wasted my potential and fallen behind other people my age in terms of success and accomplishments and found it to be quite overwhelming, even though I was applying acceptance and witnessing correctly. I then tried to reframe my perception of these problems- I reminded myself that everyone has a unique, incomparable life path and that these feelings of regret and sadness are not actually steeped in any accuracy. I did this whilst simultaneously processing the feelings {witnessing the feelings but at the same time, realising that they don't resemble the truth} and I found it to be much more tolerable and pleasant. I also felt I had successfully released a significant amount of those particular feelings after doing it every day for a week. In the same breath, I was worried that I was not FULLY experiencing the emotions because I am conscious of the fact that EC is very cautious around using thoughts to wash out negative emotions.

It also reminded me of the famous Roosevelt quote "Comparison is the thief of joy". What do you think of this approach?

Also, another quick question if I may. It's about confusion. This forum is a brilliant platform and helps to resolve confusion for a lot of EC followers, but do you think sometimes we (the human race in general) are too quick to ask detailed questions in exchange for detailed answers as opposed to accepting and experiencing the confusion and maybe frustration around not having everything 'figured out'? This is relating to page 112 of deep clearing where you label 'confusion' and 'distress' as valid  emotions to process instead of "Overemphasizing logical thinking as a means to resolve issues." So when do we draw the line between getting a good understanding of a topic and processing the confusion as a valid emotion?

Thanks John, I hope these questions are somewhat interesting.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / What is ego strength?

« on: February 16, 2022 »

Hi John, thanks so much again for the reply to my last question. It helped massively and I have since had three interviews with separate companies and am on the cusp of getting a job. I owe a lot of that to you. I eventually surrendered to the panic and fear of being rejected in the days leading up to each one which eventually caused me to not care as much if I was judged harshly. I actually found that being vulnerable and transparent in an interview setting, letting them see that I was nervous, actually made them respect me and they may have even found it endearing!

I notice you mention 'ego strength' quite a lot in your books, especially in your new one, and how it is desirable. I am just wondering if you can clarify what exactly it means. Relating it back to me for a second, would ego strength mean to have confidence in ones abilities and maintaining a personal identity, but still accepting negative emotions as separate entities? I would really appreciate a description of what it means to have ego strength, during meditation and also throughout the day.

Also a new thought popped into my mind whilst I was typing this, my mindset has transformed drastically since keeping 'self-' acceptance' at the forefront since digesting your last reply to me, and I already feel a new passion for life that I have never felt, but sometimes I think 'hold on, I am accepting a part of myself that isn't directly a feeling or emotion, such as a personal quality, physical feature, external opinion' etc. Is this allowed in EC work? The reason I ask is I have found it to be a truly beautiful experience when I combine my acceptance of my feelings with my acceptance of the fact that I may sometimes be judged harshly due to personal qualities and physical features. Do you advocate for this? Does this correlate to having an ego strength? It seemed to help me when I surrendered to the fact that my interviewer might not like me for who I am whilst accepting feelings of inadequacy at the same time.

Thanks for everything John,

Jarrod

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / exposure therapy and emotional clearing

« on: January 14, 2022 »

Hi John, its a pleasure to connect with you and a real blessing for me to have found out about your books. I love your approach and really respect your dedication to the craft.

just to set the scene, I am a male in my early 20s who has just gained a digital graphics & computing degree after completing a college course. aside from that, I have a colossal amount of unresolved emotions that are and have been stopping me from being able to function in the outside world. It is sometimes so bad that I often think the only way out is to book myself into a mental institution and to heal at my own pace. I had some very traumatic events happen in my childhood (as well as some not so obviously traumatic events but ones that have seemed to brandish my personality nonetheless) that I believe these issues have arisen from, but I also understand that this is what the universe intended so that I am able to eventually transcend and gain knowledge from the pain. I am very passionate about the idea of learning from pain and getting to levels of growth that would not be possible if it were not for those painful events.

I am at the point now where I cannot even fathom the idea of selling myself in an interview or actively calling up companies and building rapport with potential employees due to beyond overwhelming anxiety and panic, which eventually leads to self hating. I hide in my room when people visit our home because I can't stand the idea of embarrassing myself and damaging my social identity. I would rather not be seen and for people to speculate about who I am than me expose myself and be rejected. All of these things are really just the tip of the iceberg but just so I don't take up too much of your time, I will keep it brief. This situation is even worse because I have big dreams of reaching my fullest potential in the working world and embarking on the 'hero's journey', to pay homage to Joseph Campbell.

I guess my question is how do I go about resolving these issues and letting my true self shine through? I hear a lot online and in books about 'exposure therapy', which means I have to force myself physically into the most frightening scenarios, over and over again, until I no longer feel those limiting emotions. but every time I do that, it only strengthens my self hatred when I have my flaws exposed to people and I realise I am a huge way behind my ideal. also, it is very rare  the feelings are not so crippling that exposure therapy is even possible for me.

am I allowed to give myself time to heal on my own, using emotional clearing, so that the emotions diminish enough for me to make the first 'physical' steps into the working world? It is not a matter of needing the money desperately as I am fortunate enough to be living with my father currently who isn't demanding rent until I can afford it.

are you an advocate of exposure therapy or do you prefer the approach of working on yourself patiently in isolation until you are at least capable of taking the first step?

thanks in advance John, I hope this all makes sense.