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81

THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: Tonglen

« Last post by John Ruskan on April 10, 2022 »

I'm not familiar enough with the Tonglen practice to be able to comment on it, but after you understand the principles of EC work, you can of course combine it with any other healing or spiritual practice that appeals to you. The sentences you mention are interesting in that they seem to offer an ancient confirmation of the EC method.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: emotions around being disrespected

« Last post by John Ruskan on April 10, 2022 »

The EC Process is both simple and complex to grasp. If you spend some time with the EC books, you should be able to comprehend the logic of the steps, but to apply it to yourself is another story, and takes courage, intelligence, and maturity. You seem to be doing quite well with this, but you are still in the beginning stages of self-work. What you are describing is actually a text-book experience of becoming aware of yourself and your projections, reigning in the knee-jerk blameful responses, and replacing that with a more enlightened approach.

You’re working with the Significance center. We assume there is substantial negativity accumulated there, which takes the form of feelings of inferiority. This gets projected, as described in the books, and then you fight the projection. Becoming aware of this syndrome is the first step to psychological self-awareness. How to transcend it is what the books are all about.

The anger is a first-level emotion. You can work with it in your meditation and eventually it calms down, but it doesn't happen overnight. Ceasing to outwardly express the anger and working with it inwardly is a major challenge but it can be done. You might add some physical activity to channel the anger into if you feel it might be helpful, but that's not imperative. Is there a middle ground for justified outward expression of the anger? I don't think so, giving way to the anger is always a form of self-rejection, but on the other hand, you have to be moderate with yourself and not expect to be able to maintain perfect self-control immediately.

After the first-level emotion of anger comes the core feeling of not being good enough, being inadequate, feeling disrespected. This is where the critical work must be done. I have tried to describe the work in detail in the books. You can work with both these feelings in your meditation. Visualize a scene, let the anger come up, process that, and then go to the core feelings behind it. Keep shifting between them as needed.

You're going in the right direction, as you realize. You just need to stay with it and have confidence that it will result in a major life inner healing.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Tonglen

« Last post by Ed on April 09, 2022 »

Dear John,

What do you think of the practice of Tonglen and do you think it is a good thing to practice this?

"Tonglen starts right off with a counterintuitive instruction: pay full attention to your discomfort (physically and emotionally) and breathe more and more of it in with each inhale."

"While the first part of Tonglen involves breathing in our pain with each inhale, the second part instructs us to breathe out good wishes to ourselves and everybody else in the world that is feeling the same way."

To me it seems to be a good addition to emotional clearing as full attention is paid on feeling the discomfort.

Thanks for your thoughts,

Ed

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / emotions around being disrespected

« Last post by elsie96 on April 08, 2022 »

Hiya John, I'm new to the forum but have been familiar with emotional clearing for a few months now. First off, I want to express my gratitude and let you know it seems to be helping me immeasurably. I found both of your books on Amazon and I'm about 3/4 of the way through deep clearing after having finished emotional clearing. A lot of what you preach is brand new to me; I had always thought of myself as spiritual but you seem to have humbled me! It's really refreshing to read such detailed content on such a niche topic, you're clearly an expert.

I wanted to ask you about the emotions around being disrespected. Since my mid/late teens, I've been quite a confrontational person in the sense that I did not allow people to disrespect me in any way. I always saw this as a positive trait to have and it allowed me to bathe in the confidence that came from knowing I didn't take any shit. I felt I needed to have this mindset to be successful in my profession of acting, where everywhere you look there's someone trying to out-shine you or even tear you down for their chance in the spotlight. Anyway, I eventually found this way of living was not sustainable at all, it made me feel strong (in the moment), but I ended up becoming a toxic individual that people didn't enjoy being around. It also zapped me of all my energy as you can imagine. I would literally not let any little violation (or at least my perception of one) slide. After reading your books, I now know I was trying to avoid the feeling of being a pushover at all costs. I have a very distorted way of dealing with people with egos, it seems. The feeling I got when picturing even the smallest of insults being aimed at me was so painful that I had completely block it out through firing back. I truly want to heal myself of this toxic trait and I believe I have got the ball rolling by becoming aware of it. I suppose my question is, have you ever experienced anything similar to this and if so, how did you transcend it? I am finding it really difficult to supress the urge to act out the anger that comes, will that surpass eventually? Is there a middle ground when it comes to acting out the anger? For example, fighting your corner in a way that isn't obviously confrontational?

Any other advice on this would mean a lot to me John. Thank you so much 

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: Connection

« Last post by John Ruskan on March 08, 2022 »

What I hear you saying is that you've grown into an elevated state of awareness and openness over the last few years as a result of doing EC work, but that some remaining suppressed trauma still projects itself onto your experience, being primarily triggered by your relationship with your son. When the suppressed trauma is activated, it can also interfere with your relationships with men today. The trauma being triggered prevents you from connecting to your son, bringing up feelings from your childhood where you had a similar experience of being raised by a single parent, and were at times were unable to connect to that parent, feeling lonely and shamed. The trauma being triggered presents itself as a black cloud, and you can feel it physically in your body. At times the suppressed, reactivated trauma seems to subside, and you are able to connect to your son again.

You have a good understanding of the dynamics. All that needs to be done now is to settle back into the work. Recognize that you are being triggered by your son's needs, and then sit with the feelings and apply the EC steps to them. You can work with the body feelings as well as the emotional feelings of shame and loneliness. You can evoke the black cloud and let it trigger the suppressed feelings. Don't be afraid of these negative manifestations, just use them as opportunities to get to the suppressed feelings that need to be released by taking them through the EC process. You're doing good work. As I describe in FEEL 3 in the Deep Clearing book, a regular meditation/breathwork practice will stimulate and bring to the surface trapped feelings to be taken through the steps.

In which energetic center is feeling of trust, intimacy and connection? Is second center? I think you're talking about the Heart Center.

How can I find out where the energy centers are on the body described in your new book? There is a diagram in both books that show the physical locations.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Connection

« Last post by Ilina on March 06, 2022 »

Dear John,

I read your last book, it's great. I started with a more intense meditation practice with the light and Earth energy from EC. For the last three years I have been constantly focused on the observer. When I do not meditate during the day I am constantly present in the body.
A lot has happened in my experience over the last two years.Everything I believed in was collapsed. Starting with my job, relationships, money. There was so much fears, pain, guilt, shame.

What i realize after everything that in one moment my consciousness is open and i'am free from suffering, there is only present moment.

Sometimes that openness is so great that I do not feel myself, i feel only connection with everything. I cant describe that. That opening happens and when I work with people in my workshops (consciouss relationships, parenting, communication...).

What distracts me from the present moment is a black very heavy cloud that I would visually describe as something descending on me and my consciousness returning to a traumatized state. I cant breath from that heavines, somethimes is very hard to be present with that.
It happens when I am with my child as if he is awakening the old trauma in me. Тhe situation in this relationship where I am a single mother looks like my childhood and awakens the same emotional atmosphere.
He tells me that he feels lonely (need connection) and to sit with him, but it is very difficult for me to connect with him in that moments, because and i feel ashame of that to be in connection with other.I am aware that is some part of me who leaves in separation and that is some trauma, fear of realtionship. I' am now aware, that was suptile follow me all my life.

What I feel physically is pressure on the left side of the body, mostly in the lower abdomen and left hip (feminine side) and heals me down in suffering and pain.It also changes my perception of becoming the person I used to be tied to the past, I feel angry to men, unworthy, dont seen etc..Same emotional patterns and thoughts. Like body pattern to feel in that way.At some point I will realize that I am not that and the heavines seems to leave me, the energy in my body moves again and i'am ok to be present with my child and people, but i feel like need to close again.This happening with my close people, especialy men.


Can you tell me something about open and close inner dinamic? Is that separate self?

In which energetic centar is feeling of trust, intimacy and connection? Is second center?

How can I find out where the energy centers are on the body described in your new book?

Thank you so much

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: What is ego strength?

« Last post by jarrodgötze on February 21, 2022 »

Thank you John, that makes sense. I think I was struggling to strike a balance between maintaining ego strength and allowing for feelings of weakness in the power/significance chakras. But from what I’m hearing, that’s exactly what I need to do.

Again, that all makes perfect sense. So prioritising acceptance of feelings does not mean you have to reject everything else! Thank god for that! I think I need to release more trapped energy in certain chakras before I can truly think about accepting external things.

Thanks a lot, John.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: What is ego strength?

« Last post by John Ruskan on February 18, 2022 »

Glad the job search is paying off. You seem to have the right ideas here.

Ego strength for me equates to strength of character: will-power, determination, the ability to make a goal and pursue it, being able to maintain personal values in the face of opposition, strong sense of identity and integrity, etc. If you have no ego strength, you are easily pushed around by others, you are weak-willed, a 'sheepie' as we might say in the terms of contemporary society.

Don't get confused by the subtleties of self-acceptance. For our work, it mainly applies to accepting feelings and emotions as they are. Extending acceptance to things like physical features and outside conditions is desirable, but can start to get tricky. Suppose you hate some physical feature about yourself. Hate is a feeling that should be taken through the process. If you try to force yourself to 'accept' something outside or about yourself that you honestly dislike you are being dishonest with yourself. I mention somewhere in the books that the best strategy is to always go to the core feelings. If there's hate or dislike, then you accept and process that, and don't try to force yourself into accepting or liking something that you don't.

But then accepting feelings and emotions as they are can carry over to conditions outside yourself or personal physical features. If you accept your feelings about something external, then in a way you are accepting the external while at the same time disliking or preferring that the external be different.  'When I combine my acceptance of my feelings with my acceptance of the fact that I may sometimes be judged harshly due to personal qualities and physical features.' This sounds good, and maybe illustrates the point I'm trying to make. Your primary acceptance of yourself carries over to secondary acceptance of the external experience.

Please don't forget that you can help me and others by posting a verified purchase review of DEEP CLEARING on Amazon.

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / What is ego strength?

« Last post by jarrodgötze on February 16, 2022 »

Hi John, thanks so much again for the reply to my last question. It helped massively and I have since had three interviews with separate companies and am on the cusp of getting a job. I owe a lot of that to you. I eventually surrendered to the panic and fear of being rejected in the days leading up to each one which eventually caused me to not care as much if I was judged harshly. I actually found that being vulnerable and transparent in an interview setting, letting them see that I was nervous, actually made them respect me and they may have even found it endearing!

I notice you mention 'ego strength' quite a lot in your books, especially in your new one, and how it is desirable. I am just wondering if you can clarify what exactly it means. Relating it back to me for a second, would ego strength mean to have confidence in ones abilities and maintaining a personal identity, but still accepting negative emotions as separate entities? I would really appreciate a description of what it means to have ego strength, during meditation and also throughout the day.

Also a new thought popped into my mind whilst I was typing this, my mindset has transformed drastically since keeping 'self-' acceptance' at the forefront since digesting your last reply to me, and I already feel a new passion for life that I have never felt, but sometimes I think 'hold on, I am accepting a part of myself that isn't directly a feeling or emotion, such as a personal quality, physical feature, external opinion' etc. Is this allowed in EC work? The reason I ask is I have found it to be a truly beautiful experience when I combine my acceptance of my feelings with my acceptance of the fact that I may sometimes be judged harshly due to personal qualities and physical features. Do you advocate for this? Does this correlate to having an ego strength? It seemed to help me when I surrendered to the fact that my interviewer might not like me for who I am whilst accepting feelings of inadequacy at the same time.

Thanks for everything John,

Jarrod

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THE EMOTIONAL CLEARING PROCESS / Re: Vipassana retreat and Emotional Clearing

« Last post by John Ruskan on February 16, 2022 »

I don't see any problem at all and I think it would be an excellent opportunity to go deeper into yourself. My understanding of the Vipassana method is that it is based on witnessing body sensations that come up as you sit for extended periods in order to clear the samskaras. If emotions and feelings come up as well, which is to be expected, you can certainly include them in your witnessing meditation and take them through the EC steps. Maybe you or someone else will ask about what to do if strong feelings come up, but be aware that not everyone is enlightened about how to handle feelings and you may get a less than useful response from the group leader. EC work is advanced meditation. Not all spiritual leaders are up to speed on this, or may not want to introduce more than a beginner can handle, or they don't feel confident about getting into feelings. Go for it!