1. I am up to FEEL II since my last post. Since then, I have realized that deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy are the root behind many of my other feelings, such as feeling enslaved/coerced in relations with my family.
This is a hard feeling to deal with. I think I have become aware of it, but I am not sure how to go through acceptance. I know I am supposed to accept the FEELING and not the circumstances. But eventually the feeling always comes back. It is rooted in many areas of life: job, marriage, and basically everything else, reappearing with many different masks on. I know that if I analyze the situation from an intellectual perspective, the feeling of inadequacy is not really grounded in reality. But the feeling always returns, even when I think I have had a breakthrough. I don't know what the original root cause of it is. Probably something in childhood! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
2. Is it possible to learn transcendental meditation from a qualified instructor while going through deep clearing?
I thought I could practice TM for 20 minutes a day, and deep clearing guided meditations for 40 minutes once a day or every other day as time permits. I have currently been using the guided meditation downloads for a week and a half once a day, and I am on awareness at the moment.
Thank you for all of your work, John. I am still new to this but it is making a big difference already. I am able to sleep again without prescription sleep aids and I don't feel like I am "white-knuckling it" through every day anymore (most of the time). Feeling and releasing the feelings, especially at the end of the day, is profoundly cathartic. I wish I learned about this sooner.
