[quote author=John Ruskan link=topic=677.msg1137#msg1137 date=1564068418]
There is a lot of negativity in the world, and it can stimulate the negativity we hold within, contributing to the chaos we experience. You are going through tough times. Let's assume this is a period of intense cleansing, perhaps a lifetime when you have chosen to work on yourself. Such deep work can lead to a period of disorientation, as you are describing, when feelings that have been buried for lifetimes are coming up to be cleared. You do seem to be knowledgeable about psychology, but don't hesitate to seek out individual help. You may need more than just the AA meetings. Take it slow. The EC processing principles still work with extreme difficulties, you just have to remember to carefully apply them, especially the witnessing step. Keep going to the feelings behind the chaos. I would also advise you to emphasize working with the EC Induction everyday, to strengthen your aura and to ground you - you need psychic protection and basic stability before working with serious emotional states. Work with the light and the earth, as described in the EC book. Thanks for sharing. Maybe some other people will have helpful feedback.
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Thanks John. Good to know you are there and you invest time in reading and commenting with your experience. I understand there is something open that makes it easier to project and loose objectivity.It gives me assurance to know you share with me the attitude of seeing this as a period of intense cleansing.I feel specially ashamed and feel weak to have jealousy feelings. There must be ego in it. I'll have present your advice of seeking individual help. I feel I have runned out of relationships that I can trust and not feel judged about my feelings. This Forum is nice place to share sincerely and directly.I totally agree that it is important to be in the witness. Eckhart Tolles meditations have been helpfull with it, observing, beeing in the body, surrendering. Today I thought my ego has been under stress...it even makes me laugh.It must be hard for it and maybe it's that that has a fear of dying also. I will research for the EC Induction in your website and in your book. I bought a spanish version 8 years ago and I found an electronic version of the revised version. As a person that has had the advantage of reading a lot, and rationalizing, and thinking, you presented a whole new world 8 years ago when I read your book, and I feel I am experiencing that world at an emotional level. The negative first, but I have faith it is just a stage previous to liberation. I had not had nightmares since 8 years ago, and when I started breathing again, I had that old nightmare of a sort of entity coming to visit and feed from my energy. I consulted with my friend who is a certified rebirthing facilitator and he said it was normal that those entities feel threatened. I understand it's the pain body, and a reaction of the pain body to higher levels of prana and consciousness. Eckhart Tolles pain body concept is very simple and usefull, how he describes it feeding from thoughts and situations and of others reactions. I like it's simple way. I have been in fourth way schools and read Ouspenski and Gurdjieff which explains in an esoteric way, what Tolle is explaining in simple ways. I like the idea and the vision of seeing myself as consciousness that can observe alchemy going on in this space, of the transmutation of this negative feelings and thoughts into consciousness. Of this pain and emotions beeing the fuel to the light of consciousness.Thanks for your work John, I feel it has been a door to enter another reality.