taking responsibility

[blossom156]

Hi John,

In Emotional Clearing you write „It can be assumed that major difficulties we undergo with another are due to incomplete exchanges with that same person in a previous life.” Can we thus assume that if we haven’t resolved certain issues with another person, we will meet them in the next life? Should we thus aim to resolve these issues in this life or just let things be?

I had a situation which led me and my partner to part ways (we never officially split up, there was never a conversation which would give any of us closure, my partner basically ghosted me after I left) and despite the fact that for months after the incident which led me to leave I was certain everything was his fault, thanks to intense self-work I experienced an awakening and took full responsibility for the situation and my feelings, I brought myself out of victimhood and any other negative feelings. Before I got to where I am now, I did send him a text message telling him his lack of any contact hurt me. Now I am extremely grateful to him as he was the mirror that helped me awaken and therefore change my life. I know I can’t help him change or awaken, but I wonder whether it is worth telling him (even after 7 months!) that my life has changed for the better thanks to him. During meditation, I send him positive intentions, energy and love everyday as I believe this message will be communicated to him via the universe. But do you think communicating this message in person is important for his emotional clearing? Should I organize such a meeting one day or simply wait for a “coincidental” meeting?

Thank you for your thoughts.

[John Ruskan]

No one fully understands how Karma and reincarnation work. What I have stated is a generally accepted principle, I believe. But I wouldn't rely on needing to meet another person again if you haven't fully worked things out. We just don't know how things work. Maybe we can work out unfinished interpersonal karma in the between lives phase. Maybe one person works out the issue and no longer has the need to meet, so they don't. I would avoid cultivating any expectations.

It's excellent that you shifted out of victimhood and have taken responsibility for that relationship experience, and have experienced an inner release. There is no requirement that you discuss this with any other person. We assume that if you have made a genuine shift, the other person will sense it. That you are not in contact now might not matter. A good therapist will never advise a client on what to do - you have to sense if it feels right to make contact, will the other be open to it, are your motives pure and not subtly ego-serving, etc. I couldn't say if it is important for his evolution or not.

I understand that you may be feeling some guilt about sending the blameful message and you are wondering if you should correct that, but again, I can't advise on this. Any guilt may be misplaced and should be dropped. If you can't drop it, it might be another point to take through the process. There may still be another unresolved layer behind it.

[blossom156]

Thank you so much John for your words and time!