Author Topic: exposure therapy and emotional clearing  (Read 1762 times)

jarrodgötze

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exposure therapy and emotional clearing
« on: January 14, 2022 »
Hi John, its a pleasure to connect with you and a real blessing for me to have found out about your books. I love your approach and really respect your dedication to the craft.

just to set the scene, I am a male in my early 20s who has just gained a digital graphics & computing degree after completing a college course. aside from that, I have a colossal amount of unresolved emotions that are and have been stopping me from being able to function in the outside world. It is sometimes so bad that I often think the only way out is to book myself into a mental institution and to heal at my own pace. I had some very traumatic events happen in my childhood (as well as some not so obviously traumatic events but ones that have seemed to brandish my personality nonetheless) that I believe these issues have arisen from, but I also understand that this is what the universe intended so that I am able to eventually transcend and gain knowledge from the pain. I am very passionate about the idea of learning from pain and getting to levels of growth that would not be possible if it were not for those painful events.

I am at the point now where I cannot even fathom the idea of selling myself in an interview or actively calling up companies and building rapport with potential employees due to beyond overwhelming anxiety and panic, which eventually leads to self hating. I hide in my room when people visit our home because I can't stand the idea of embarrassing myself and damaging my social identity. I would rather not be seen and for people to speculate about who I am than me expose myself and be rejected. All of these things are really just the tip of the iceberg but just so I don't take up too much of your time, I will keep it brief. This situation is even worse because I have big dreams of reaching my fullest potential in the working world and embarking on the 'hero's journey', to pay homage to Joseph Campbell.

I guess my question is how do I go about resolving these issues and letting my true self shine through? I hear a lot online and in books about 'exposure therapy', which means I have to force myself physically into the most frightening scenarios, over and over again, until I no longer feel those limiting emotions. but every time I do that, it only strengthens my self hatred when I have my flaws exposed to people and I realise I am a huge way behind my ideal. also, it is very rare  the feelings are not so crippling that exposure therapy is even possible for me.

am I allowed to give myself time to heal on my own, using emotional clearing, so that the emotions diminish enough for me to make the first 'physical' steps into the working world? It is not a matter of needing the money desperately as I am fortunate enough to be living with my father currently who isn't demanding rent until I can afford it.

are you an advocate of exposure therapy or do you prefer the approach of working on yourself patiently in isolation until you are at least capable of taking the first step?

thanks in advance John, I hope this all makes sense.

John Ruskan

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Re: exposure therapy and emotional clearing
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2022 »
Ok! Here's a great way to completely fuck yourself up: Constantly compare yourself to a picture in your mind that you think you should be (your ideal spiritual brain-washed true-self hero image) and then beat yourself up because you will never come close to it. One of the principle components of EC psychology is self-acceptance. This idea does not appear to have hit you yet, and you seem to be in major unconscious self-rejection. The challenge in EC and authentic spiritual work is to be present with WHAT IS, not to be focused on the delusional idealized future. I suggest you go through the books again with this in mind and work on self-acceptance for a few months. You resolve your issues and grow organically and spontaneously into your higher self by surrendering to what is and by dedicating yourself to a long-term meditation - EC practice, clearing all those traumatic events one by one, without concerning yourself with how long it may take.

I have not studied Exposure Therapy and do not know if it is actually a formal school of psychology. However, EC work can be said to be a form of exposure therapy. You sit and visualize the triggering circumstances, and let the feelings come up, and then take them through the steps. You can also engage in physical confrontation to bring up the feelings, if it is an ongoing condition. However, simply exposing yourself to physical confrontation to bring up the feelings is not going to help much to clear those feelings from the subconscious if you simply shut down when the feelings come up, which is likely to happen if you are not ready with an effective strategy to handle the feelings. If Exposure Therapy does not include any such strategy aside from masochistic resignation, I would question the wisdom level of the program. If the exposure is too much, involuntary shut-down and repression will occur, which defeats the purpose or even compounds the problem as you point out. The beauty of EC work is that it gives you a method to integrate the feelings, whatever the context, inner or outer. I would say work mostly inwardly, and be careful with outer exposure, not over-doing it. You can try it after you have felt you have cleared some feelings using the EC process. Actually, I don't think it is even necessary if you have an ongoing meditation-processing practice. You could make a case that inner work is more effective because you are in a witnessing alpha state, able to devote complete attention to the feelings while taking them through the steps, although outer confrontation may have the advantage of generating stronger feelings than you can do in meditation.

Regarding employment, you are expected to be nervous when applying for a job. Nobody will hold that against you if you have talents, and everybody else including the people who interview you are just as tormented as you - that can be a helpful thought to keep in mind as you face them, similar to the cardboard cutout idea in the Emotional Clearing book. Don't worry so much about yourself and just go do it.

« Last Edit: January 14, 2022 by John Ruskan »

jarrodgötze

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Re: exposure therapy and emotional clearing
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2022 »
Hi John, thank you so much for the reply. Self acceptance is a beautiful idea and one that I am very new to. I have always hated some of my behavioural traits and tried to bend them to suit my ideal. This could very well be the reason I feel so blocked. I can honestly tell you, I cannot recall even one moment in my life where I have sat in complete self acceptance and unconditional self love. Its a very sad realisation but also I'm very happy I am now on track. I actually meditated for almost two hours yesterday, completely focusing on acceptance and it was magical. I felt I was able to breathe much more easily and a light-headedness that usually follows me around completely dissipated for the 2 hours.

After finishing one of the most uplifting meditations ever I couldn't help thinking why on earth is this type of inner work not mainstream? Seriously, I am struggling to work out why. Maybe it is because other forms of work, law of attraction, for example, appeals much more to materialists than EC does. But surely the notion of bending external events to suit an individual completely invalidates the fact that there is a super consciousness that knows exactly what is right for each person at any given time in their life!

Thank you again John. I'm really excited about learning more about EC.