Author Topic: Acceptance and resistance  (Read 6343 times)

CarlStevenson

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Acceptance and resistance
« on: November 06, 2013 »
Hi John, I have suffered from anxiety for nearly two years. I bought your book and have gradually begun to accept the emotion that is constantly there. I have moments where I accept the feeling fully and can feel a little release but then a lot of times I find myself resisting the emotion, that's when it feels a lot worse. Do you have any advice as to how I could more readily accept what is there in my emotions? Thank you. Karl

John Ruskan

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Re: Acceptance and resistance
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2013 »
Fully understanding the theory about why it's necessary to accept feelings, as explained in the EC book, can be helpful. Acceptance is a higher state of consciousness, closely aligned with witnessing, for which we slowly build our capacity. It takes time, a dedicated practice, and it's normal to fall out of the higher states.

Anxiety has both mental and emotional components. When the mind is resisting, anxiety is higher, as you describe. When the mind comes to rest, through acceptance and witnessing, anxiety is lessened. At this point, it is easier to see the core feeling behind the anxiety, which is likely to be fear-related.

The optimal strategy when anxiety comes up is to relax the mind, and go to the core feeling behind it, applying the ECP steps to that. You can also process the anxiety itself, if you can't immediately find the core feeling. If there are past incidents that come up related to the core feeling, that's helpful too. Let those memories trigger core feelings.

With acceptance, remember it's always the feelings you are focusing on and accepting, not primarily the associated events or circumstances.

CarlStevenson

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Re: Acceptance and resistance
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2013 »
Thank you John for your reply. I know this is the work of a life time.

Debcats

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Re: Acceptance and resistance
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2014 »
That's what I tend to do too! Many times I can accept my emotions & other times my mind starts resisting & I get into very negative thought patterns. Makes it worse! Need to work on this acceptance more.