more questions regarding sub-personalities

[apisac]

Hi John and everyone on the forum,

first I'd like to thank John for the previous reply regarding EC and psychology of selves. The reply opened up some questions and I'd like to share them with you all. For example in the EC book John says that some of the mental processes that deny or suppress feelings and emotions is perfectionism, analysing and judging (self and others). I have been dealing with a lot of chronic pain that I understand is a result of repressed emotions. Much literature on integrative medicine claims that personality types that most often somaticise repressed emotions are people who tend to be perfectionists and goodists. I realised that in my case emotions that drive such behaviour are the fear of rejection/abandonment, helplessness and sometimes loneliness. My questions is do we approach such behaviours mentally, namely to become aware and consciously stop them in the moment, or are they 'effortlessly' going to change once the emotions are released and resolved. Do we need to approach such behaviours mentally or would that again be too much intellectualising and thus repressing again? Thanks everyone. I am really grateful that this forum exists.
Andrea

[John Ruskan]

Chapter 7 of the EC book, Acceptance, discusses the various unconscious, mental tendencies we fall into that lead to suppression of feelings. To become aware of these tendencies is not particularly a mental activity, but an intellectual activity - a different plane of being. Becoming aware is the first step to change. As we become aware, the previously unconscious mental tendency - let's say it's perfectionism - automatically starts to lessen. But it would probably be a mistake (and maybe another perfectionist impulse) to want to stamp out all the counter-productive mental behaviorisms with a mental effort. Just becoming aware, and making a reasonable effort to modify undesirable mental/behavioral patterns as best you can even though it's not 100% would be enough, and then you go to the feelings. As the feelings release, the mental patterns also release.