Trouble Remembering the Linear Process while in Meditation.

[jchris211]

Hello,

I purchased the book Deep Clearing a month ago and have been practicing the emotional clearing process at least 1-3 per week.

I feel like it's working to some extent, but when doing the meditation I feel like my brain has to compartmentalize each step and it doesn't allow me the chance to full relax into it? I also feel like when I reach alpha, trying to tap into my subconscious pulls me out of it, because I then prompt myself to recall an emotion. Does anyone have this issue?

For example I will do Deep Relaxation, Awareness, Acceptance, Direct Experience, and Witnessing.

but sometimes my subconscious will bring forth an emotion, feeling or memory at various points during these stages. It's not very linear. I also will do the practice of asking my Subconscious to show me what the core emotion is behind my feeling, but I find brain creating a logical and rationale root of the emotion or forcing a memory. And I can't tell if this is me straining to make something happen.

I also don't always know which feeling I want to go with at times. I have so many emotions that I have been battling from various circumstances family relationships, child hood, toxic relationships, finances, jobs, self esteem, inadequacy etc. It's hard to kind of just pick one. Even though they all kind of point to the same origin, that I can't quite put into words. Has anyone else struggled with this as well?

Not sure if this makes sense. I am hoping the process will just continue to get easier with practice. But I have realized I have a hard time meditating in a step by step process.

I have tried incorporating a mantra meditation for the first 10 minutes to help ease me into a alpha state, and then asking my Subconscious, what needs to be felt at this time. And weaving in acceptance and witnessing throughout. As the mind will naturally flow in and out of a witnessing state.

I have had some progress though..

I have noticed that I can identify a energetic sensation on the right side of my throat when doing in this practice. I also had an intense session where I felt a heavy blockage in the pit of my stomach/solar plexus. The more I leaned into the feeling, without expecting my subconscious to reveal some hidden secret, the more intense the feeling got. It was like a burning of energy in my solar plexus area. I haven't felt it as intensely since. However, throughout my day I can feel the sensation of fear coursing through my body. Not in a bad way. But it seems like the fearful energy is finally flowing instead of remaining stagnant.

I guess my overall question is: Is there a way to approach this practice in a more fluid nature, since the 1-6 steps in a linear way can feel overwhelming and bring me back into left brain thinking.

[John Ruskan]

It sounds like you’re doing quite well. Continuing practice will smooth out the left-brain intrusions you are describing. However, a few pointers:

You don’t have to rigidly adhere to the steps to make the process work. In fact, you can think them as conditions, rather than sequential steps that you have to follow. Trying to remember if you’re doing the steps will jar you back into the left-brain, as you describe. The primary objective is to be ‘in the moment’ with the subconscious material as it spontaneously comes forward. Learn to find that ‘in the moment’ place, beyond the mind, in your meditation and then allow or invoke feelings, then experience and witness. Relax into the feelings. Go up to the 3rd eye. Experiment with how long you are comfortable being in the 3rd eye without losing the feelings. You can vary between 15 seconds minimum to being there all the time.

The body/energetic sensations you describe are a good sign. Just keep staying with them and they will develop. Try to choose the most pressing emotion coming up at that moment.