Hi Carl - nice to hear from you. It sounds like a core issue for you is the rejection/abandonment. It came up in the last relationship, it got suppressed with the meds, and now it's come up again, possibly attracting the kind of relationship that will correspond to or evoke those feelings. Understanding this is a good start. If you use more meds, you take the risk of again suppressing, but sometimes meds are needed short-term if things get too intense and you're not getting immediate help from the process. You have to be the judge.
Try to see the upside: Here's the opportunity to clear this difficult part of yourself that's been around for lifetimes, and the relationship is serving that purpose. It will take some time. It's just a matter of developing the skills required as you apply the EC process, which is based on meditation principles. You wouldn't give up on meditation after trying it for a week, right? Its the same here. Be patient, start a dedicated personal practice, and there's no question it will kick in at some point.
Include: A basic yoga (not power yoga) practice 5 days a week. This loosens up the energetic congestion. Breath practice as well - sit and breathe as I describe in the book twice a day for 10 minutes. This will do a lot to relax you. Keep studying the steps of the process and carefully apply them.
Acceptance can be thought of in several ways: You look at the normal resistance in the mind to the pain and put the resistance aside for the moment: Become a little more ok with the pain - relax into it. Then work on the witness. When you're in the witness, you're beyond the question of acceptance or rejection - you are present with what's happening now. Witnessing is one of the things to cultivate so you can step out of your mind. You can include the third eye focus (that I describe in the book in the EC Process induction) for 5 minutes twice a day with the breath. Be careful as you practice that you're not pushing yourself - this can be another problem. Just relax and be confident that you're going in the right direction.
The EC Guided Training Set would be very helpful, and of course if it's an option, there's nothing better than some personal counseling to jumpstart you. But you can do it on your own. Use the tools. You'll get there.
