Well, the "system" took care of itself. All my fears that had been held in check by these recent accomplishments came back (weaker than previously but nevertheless still present), and there was this sense in me that I had better not rejoice, because the "fall" will come. And as I write this I realize that this feeling has always been part of my life - that I should not be too happy or too thrilled or too confident, because it will be snatched away by an unpleasant/unhappy situation in the future. Sure, it got me climbing down from my superior position (thankfully!), but again, this is not how I want to correct myself. I want to stay confident and still be accepting of myself and others wherever they are.