We experience anger when our importance, worth, or
intrinsic value as a human being is invalidated. Anger is probably the single
most projected emotion. We constantly avoid responsibility for anger, thinking
that others are the cause of it. We constantly blame, rejecting ourselves.
Anger can also be a sign that other negative feelings are right behind it,
not yet fully conscious.
Do not try to think
away your anger
There is no rational basis for anger. It cannot be
controlled by intellectually identifying whatever is making you angry and
trying to change your reaction through reprogramming yourself or others.
Types of therapy in which you try to reprogram your thoughts to alter your
feelings can be dangerous. If you use such an approach and appear to be
successful, you have merely resuppressed your anger – or any other
feeling – and it will come forth another time.
Unusually strong negative feelings always represent
suppressed energy. They must be released on the energy level through conscious
processing. Reprogramming is not the answer. Reprogramming starts with the
assumption that feelings must be avoided; this is doomed from the start.
All feelings must be accepted in order to be cleared.
You also may experience what could be called “ordinary”
amounts of anger, anger that does not involve suppressed energy and is not
as strong as suppressed anger. Processing is the best approach I know for
handling either ordinary or suppressed anger.
We have already discussed the ineffectiveness and
self-destructiveness of venting anger on those who appear to have hurt us.
EC processing, breath, and bodywork will release anger effectively without
alienating others.
If anger is a problem for you, you have to accept
that it will take time to bring yourself into balance. Learn to work with
anger during meditation; you will gain the ability to do so in confrontation.
Anger can relate to issues of invalidated self-image,
self-esteem, and recognition. If you feel pressures in these areas, pressures
that are most likely to occur in the workplace, do not be compulsively motivated
by the feelings. Don’t be motivated by the anger into making demands
or into confrontations with others. Process the anger and allow it to link
to the core feelings hidden behind it. Recognize that the events are only
triggering the feelings you are holding within. Clear yourself, and you
will find that the conditions you encounter will magically transform.
