HOME
HOME> Emotions> loving yourself 

EC

loving yourself
 

John Ruskan's
Emotional Clearing

Emotions

introduction
12 Step / Recovery
addiction
alpha state
anger
anxiety
art therapy
astrology
beliefs
blame
blocked
bodywork
breathwork
burn-out
chakras
compulsive eating
depression
east/west
eating disorder
emdr
emotional release
energy psychology
fear
food addictions
forgiveness
guilt
guru
holistic
hypnotherapy / hypnosis
inner child
karma
loneliness
loving yourself
manic-depression
meditation
new age
obsessive-compulsive
panic attack
performance optimization
positive attitude
psychotherapy
relationships
repression
sadness
self-rejection
spirit releasement
stress
substance addiction / abuse
suppression
the subconscious
trauma
worry

When the expressions “loving yourself” or “self-love” are first heard, there may be confusion about what is meant. This is because we think in terms of the love we are familiar with, dependent love. If we try to love ourselves, we may take an approach similar to that used in dependent love, using ourselves as the object of our love. We may try to escape into ourselves, as we escaped into others. We may become self-absorbed and self-indulgent, putting our own needs first. The motive is still to escape. We reject unhappiness and, in so doing, reject ourselves.

Self-love has nothing to do with using yourself as the object of your love. Self-love means that your love comes from within, is generated from within, not from “loving” any object because it may please you tremendously, whether that object is someone else or yourself. Self-love is a condition of awareness, a way of perceiving, an attitude, which results in an integrated perception of the world.

The art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. They are essentially the same. You begin loving yourself when you stop rejecting yourself, especially on the feeling level. When you practice self-acceptance of your feelings as they are now, you will experience real changes in consciousness. You no longer try to juggle people or possessions in the external world in order to find fulfillment. You find fulfillment from within, simply by accepting, without acting out, your feelings as they are right now.

Do not underestimate the importance of self-acceptance. It can end the emotional pain that you feel or lead to the spiritual experience you want. Starting with the mundane, you will reach the highest of inner realization. In welcoming all your feelings, you become whole; life becomes holistic. You experience oneness. You no longer compulsively search for oneness in the external world, whether with another person or with an achievement. You accept and love yourself.

 
 

© 2004 John Ruskan / The Institute for Integrative Processing