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self-rejection
 

John Ruskan's
Emotional Clearing

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The painful feelings have not cleared; they remain strong because we have habitually rejected them. Rejection of feelings is self-rejection, because on a certain level we are our feelings. We find ourselves in an endless cycle of pain and self-rejection, the opposite of self-love. Rejection of feelings is also suppression. Pain stays suppressed, and whenever it breaks into awareness we again suppress it through self-rejection.

Self-rejection is a
function of the mind

The mind is the gate that opens or closes, thereby allowing or preventing direct experience. Any action of the mind that blocks direct experience is self-rejecting; conversely, any action of the mind that allows direct experience is self-accepting.

Self-acceptance is more of a passive quality than an active or aggressive quality. It comes into being when the mechanical mind reaction of self-rejection has ceased. Accordingly, there is nothing really to do, only to stop doing. We are conditioned to be aggressive in pursuing goals in the world. Often we turn toward inner growth with the same kind of aggressiveness and impatience for results. This very attitude is self-rejecting. Acceptance happens when there is no active seeking, when there is no expectation or striving, when the mind has come to rest.

When something is accepted, the barriers of the mind to direct experience – to the feeling of the event – are taken down. When you are feeling, you are not suppressing; you are in the moment. Whether you intellectually prefer the moment to be as it is has nothing to do with your acceptance of it. If you are self-accepting, your mind does not block your feelings. The intellect remains free to have any preference it might. You don’t have to like something to accept it. Your preference that the event be different may take the form of actively initiating change, but your preference does not influence your acceptance.

 
 

© 2004 John Ruskan / The Institute for Integrative Processing